Category > the grovetionary

Grovetionary: Bitchosaurus Rex

We’ve got a new entry for the Grovetionary.
Bitchosaurus Rex - n.  an extremely unpleasant woman.
Person 1: “She’s horrible!  She is the meanest woman I’ve ever seen on the Biggest Loser.”  (Vicky, I’m looking at you.)
Person 2: “Yeah.  She’s a Bitchosaurus Rex.”

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Colon stone (grovetionary)

Colon stone (n.): Stubborn fecal matter days overdue.
Person 1 [hasn't pooped in days]: Owie.  It hurts.
Person 2: Did you pass your colon stone yet?
(Persons 1 and 2 are completely fictional.  Any resemblence to people you might know is completely coincidental.)

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Maybe I’m a bad American, but…

John McCain kind of creeps me out.  He looks like a garden gnome, one of those that you can dress up with the pointy hat.  I’ve realized that I hate, no, HATE political speeches.  The melodramatic delivery, the 3 minutes of applause between each sentence.  You really need to watch them with Tivo so that [...]

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New Grovetionary entry: “Nowanna”

Nowanna - phrase (no-wah-nah): Contraction of sorts for “I don’t want to.”  Used especially in a tired state.
Person 1: (Sleeping on couch.  Warm.  Toasty.  Comfy.)
Person 2: “Come on, let’s go upstairs to bed.”
Person 1: “Nowanna!”

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Walk-off

Someone reminded me that I haven’t put up any Grovetionary words lately, so here goes:
Walk-off: When you poop and don’t need to wipe; also known as a “clean-cutter.”
In my world, it’s a beautiful thing.

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“WebMDchondriac”

Another entry for the Grovetionary:
WebMDchondriac: One who is obsessed with researching disorders they potentially have, or continually uses online symptom checkers.

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“You’re pretty”

Entry: “You’re pretty” or “You’re good at math”
Translation: Wow, you just said something really dumb.  Not just normal dumb, but qualifying for the dumbest thing ever.  Best used with a condescending tone while petting the other person’s head.
We’re having trouble thinking of an example right now, so stay tuned for that.

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The other day

Another entry for the Grovetionary:
“The other day”: A phrased used to describe the timeframe of an event that occurred at any point between the beginning of time and yesterday.
Example: “The other day, at my [5-year-old] niece’s baptism…” Editor’s note: the baptism actually occurred in 2001.

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Commonlaw dating

This is the first post of the “Grovetionary” - the Grover dictionary.
Commonlaw dating: A guy and girl who are just friends and hang out together, when one party is romantically interested, and the other is not.  The interested party hopes that by default, there will be a relationship.  (There is not.)  This tends to occur [...]

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